Today is my birthday and like every year, I've spent the morning reflecting on the previous year of my life. As I scanned people, places, events, encounters and then my internal compass of faith, family and future... I was overwhelmed with a surreal feeling. I cannot begin to describe it, but I'll get out of my emotions for a moment and share 5 (of many) insights I noted.
1. A fight is sometimes necessary!
In dealing with friendships/relationships, we often attribute conflict as a sign that the friendship/relationship isn't meant to be. I've learned to instead evaluate all pros and cons prior to making a hasty decision. Sure... simply walking away is easier, but does the friendship/relationship warrant a fight (figuratively) to keep it intact?
Disclaimer: This does NOT apply to all situations! Drop all zeros and unapologetically RUN for dear life! HAHAHAHA!
2. Savor the moment!
Being the overthinking personality I am, I must admit I've allowed present treats to be held captive by futuristic thoughts. Of course vetting the future is a critical component of success, but at what price? I've learned to balance [tame] my inquiries of the future so that today can be fully enjoyed. It's just not possible to enjoy a beautiful vacation while mentally sifting and sorting through every challenge you left back home. One word... chill!
3. Quality is better than quantity!
In our social society that's driven by likes, shares and friends we don't know, it's seamless to shift expectations from the cyber world to your real world. Before you know it, the baseline of measuring happiness is quantitative versus qualitative. What we inconspicuously disregard is the immense value of understanding, association and trust. I've learned these attributes can only be cultivated by going deep, not wide! Of course that deeper place is unpopular in our popcorn culture and uncomfortable given the vulnerability your expose yourself to, but it's worth it to me! I choose quality over quantity.
4. Every ending isn't bad!
Because we are wired to be change-averse creatures, "the end" of an event, situation, or connection carries a negative connotation. If you tell a friend your job ended, their response is filled with empathy and investigative questions to discover "what happened". I've learned to appreciate the positives that occurred prior to the ending, but excitingly anticipate the possibilities that await subsequent to the ending. There's no way to reach your next phase while unproductively wading in the expired phase!
5. Live in purpose on purpose!
Unfortunately, many of us never hear the true context of "purpose" until we're adults. I distinctly remember my initial introductions to purpose years ago... at a sales conference for a major MLM company as I aspired to become a director, at church as the preacher illustrated the parity from a Bible story to our everyday challenges, and at my counselor's office while trying to reassemble the shattered pieces of my life after divorce. Although those moments seemed epiphanic at the time, it wasn't until just last week that I felt a purpose-filled tear fill my eyes.
A lady came into my office and said she'd never seen anyone walk in purpose as I do. She'd never met anyone who truly went after what they wanted, versus going along with life. She'd never met anyone so genuine about positivity and following your dreams. She'd never seen someone smile and it show you their core. She'd never seen a glow over someone else. She even asked if I'd changed makeup, because something different was radiating across my face.
Guys... I was BEYOND humbled, stunned, but more so grateful that someone was able to see purpose not just through my daily broadcasts [words], but actually in my everyday persona. This moment was the epitome of realized prayers and the result of intentional steps I'd taken to make lemonade from the lemons of life.
She said it must be so hard to be that way everyday... and despite all the adversity. I quickly pondered and responded, "When your purpose becomes part of your DNA, there's no other way you can be anything different."
I challenge you to entrench yourself in your purpose and watch how YOU change. Stop waiting for others to "act right" or for the situation to "get right". Rather, become the change you deserve and desire!!!
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