1 - A few days ago, Cailey stormed into my room at 4am and said her room was too dark. I reminded her that the lamp was turned on, so it could not have been too dark. Her response was, "I'm not talking about the lamp. I'm talking about my mind."
a) I did not agree with Cailey about the darkness and b) I was not aware that she considered it to be dark, but it influenced a real emotion within her - fear... that manifested into a real action - an attempt to get into my bed. (I don't think so ma'am!)
2 - An employee shared that she felt I treated her differently than others on the team. I sincerely apologized and requested examples to build my understanding.
a) I did not agree with the employee's accusation, and b) I was not aware that the she felt that way. However, it influenced a real emotion within her - hurt... that manifested into a real action - crying.
3 - While at the minor medical center a few weeks ago, I observed a very familiar sentiment from my days as a retail cashier. The front-desk clerk held out her had to receive payment from a patient, but he laid his money on the counter. Immediately, her facial expression and demeanor reflected a negative change.
a) The patient did not agree that he was being rude, and b) he was not aware that his response would cause the clerk's feelings to change. However, it influenced a real emotion within her - anger... that manifested into a real action - an unpleasant disposition.
Our choices, words, and deeds impact others everyday. We will not always know how we impact others, but as the cliche states, "perception is reality". We should aspire to be in sync with the reality of others all around us. Why? Because we consequently influence real emotions that manifest into real actions!
...I won't leave you there... here are a few points I remind myself of DAILY...
- Maintain a "learning" and "imperfect" mentality. Without this, you will be inflexible to adaptation. After all, it's not about you.
- Create an environment and/or relationship that cultivates openness. Without this, no one will want to be honest with you, which stunts your personal growth.
- Ask for feedback. Yes, it's that simple. Asking shows your humility and willingness to adjust.
- Look and listen for cues... or as mother says, "Read between the lines!" Again, if we are sincerely interested in others, we should become more aware of changes in behavior, attitude, word choice, etc. Don't miss the blaring signs and/or cries for attention.
- Get to the root. Peel the onion layers back to find the root cause... the core. Don't be clouded by white noise and symptoms. Dig deeper.
- Reform. Internalize the information you are provided... or the information you discover, and adjust accordingly.
How do you remain in sync with reality? I would love to hear your tips.
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